Animal Planet proves that people are stupid

I'll make this quick because I've realized over the last week that I hate typing if I'm not being graded for it.

I'm sitting down relaxing, watching some TV, eating milk's favorite cookie, when I suddenly feel the urge to watch some people do some stupid shit. So what better channel to surf to other than Animal Planet? Where else can you see some dude with mustard stains on his medium-sized wife beater be immortalized in the "Jackass Hall of Fame" for sticking his hand into a Crocodile's mouth.

"I'm pretty sure I can fit my hand in there." - Señor Dumbass

Seriously? I wish I was there taping this stupidity. On top of that, what better way is there to spend your late night than laughing at an elderly woman who is being crushed by her 3-year-old thoroughbred horse that she's raised since birth, in a 4-foot tall ditch? Horses can't turn over and get back on their legs after they flip over, so of course, comedy ensues.

Tough shit, pal.

I like Animal Planet. In fact I love it. But, for all the wrong reasons. Definitely gotta move on.


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Mad Marchness

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Online Slang: Bring sentences back.

Everybody has been guilty of this at one time. Except me, of course. Here's a quick rundown of lame internet slang that would ruin my friendship with you.

1. Fail ("HA! That fat guy just face-planted on concrete! MAJOR FAIL!!1!") :
I see this on the internet more than pictures of kittens nowadays. Quit typing it. Don't be stupid.



2. IMO ("Dude, your girlfriend is fucking hideous IMO.") :
If you're writing something in a forum, Facebook message or an email, we all know it's your opinion. Who's else would it be?

3. PWNED or OWNED (You just got PWNED!!")
These words originated in the video-gaming universe and spread throughout the World Wide Web in a matter of months, so steer clear to avoid being infected with an incurable strain of "douchebaggery".

4. P30pl3 wh0 wr1t3 0nl1n3 1n numb3r5 1n5t34d 0f l3tt3r5 p155 m3 0ff. 1f y0u c4n r34d th15 1n l355 th4n 5 53c0nd5, k1ll y0ur53lf.

Know some online slang that makes you want to vomit? Leave a comment.


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Juelz Santana Thinks You're Gay

"Anybody that has time to sit and type at they computer might be gay to me. I mean just typing a comment. You could be typing and talking to somebody, but typing a comment on something that you see is kind of crazy to me."

-- Juelz Santana


What year are we in?? Is it not 2009? Did I wake up in some alternate Universe where we don't have wireless internet connections, laptop computers and, you know, journalism? And are you telling me that this guy has enough credibility to judge ANYONE at what they do?



No offense, but Juelz, take it from someone who knows music: You are one of the worst rappers to ever pick up a microphone. And Jim Jone's ad-libs make more sense than his actual bars.

Bottomline: Don't insult people for doing what they do, UNLESS you yourself are flawless. Juelz Santana is not a good writer (hell, he's borderline retarded with words) so him disrespecting people for what they write is ignorant. Plus the internet was created for people to share their ideas to millions of people. Nobody is forcing you to read it.


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People are the key to YOUR survival

Building connections with people to get what you need sounds selfish; but it's true. Whether if it's attempting to get out of a ticket by learning how to interact with a police officer, or busting your ass to get on your boss' good side for a promotion. To get ahead in life you have to make sacrifices.

I love being alone more than anything. I'd rather be inside my own mind than wasting time doing brainless activities with intellectually challenged people. Some people are worth your time, but most are not. The key is, I know that by shutting other people out completely, I won't get what I want: women and money. You can't get either without communicating, relationships and hard work. Well, you can, but it's called rape and racketeering. (edit: And I don't get down like that.)

Bottomline: Make those sacrifices and get over your inhibitions. The key is to identify which situation is worth your energy. Which situation is worth burning calories over? Let us know in the comments.


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F#@! Blogging

This isn't blogging. This is something bigger. Something astronomical.

Few things about us:
1. We never sleep.
2. We have a sense of humor.
3. We're assholes.
4. We're smarter than you.

Few things you can expect us to write about:
1. Pop culture
2. Un-pop culture
3. Relationships
4. Sex
5. Our adjustments to normal human life.
6. Sports

You might not agree with what we say, but hey - that sounds like a personal problem. We know everything.

---Woodius


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